Coming out of Conflict and Chaos
- Vijaya Vulapalli
- Mar 4, 2017
- 2 min read
Complete acceptance is the most powerful solution to conflict and chaos. There is as much conflict in the heart as there is chaos in the world we see outside of us today. At all the levels of human existence, we are in a constant quest for acceptance. Not feeling accepted is at the core of all chaos and conflict. Right from individual personality level to the community at large, every conflict is a search for acceptance that we are unable to give to ourselves.
As a child, we are always expected to be something other than who we are. Not feeling accepted for exactly how we are, there is always a constant need to change, fix or adapt. If we are a talkative child, we are expected to be less chatty. If we are an introspective or intuitive child, we are nudged to be more outgoing or analytical. As we grow up, this continues to be a feeling of not being accepted, always feeling some gap in how we are showing up, however it is. No wonder FaceBook or YouTube likes define our existence today.
As individuals in a society, there is constant pressure to fit into the box of being acceptable. This narrow box never really fits anyone’s unique expression. We try to fit in 7.2 billion unique expressions into well defined boxes so that they do not outrage our sense of propriety or threaten our sense of security. Not much scope for real freedom of expression. By the time we grow up with these societal limitations, we get used to the boxes and we are lulled by an illusion we have freedom. However, the conflict in heart doesn’t go away, it pops up every time there is a life issue involving heart based decisions.
As a part of community, being accepted for our own faith, belief systems, ideologies – for a sense of belonging, defines our existential conflicts in the larger world. Entire history is full of bloody conflicts just on the basis – our belief in God has to be accepted by others as their belief too. As if, I cannot sustain my faith in my God or ideology unless everyone believes and accepts the same version of it.
Self acceptance is a powerful solution that allows us to grow out of our need for external validation. It allows us not just to accept who we are but also extend same level of acceptance to others and their expression, their belief systems and perspectives. We turn up into mature, responsible and tolerant individuals who do not have any need for conflict or chaos to sustain that belief in ourselves or our unique expression.