Are you holding yourself back from deep connection?

In relationships, conflict causes a lot of harm and drain on energies. But what is still more harmful is avoiding all arguments or disagreements because of fear of conflict. You may end up buried in loneliness in spite of being surrounded by people you love.

Many people have difficulty expressing their true feelings or desires or even take a stance in a tense situation. They freeze up or run away at the slightest indication of a conflict situation. It could be out of a fear of rupture, or it could be fear of making things worse, or fear of loud voices, or something a lot more deep rooted.

Fear of conflict often makes relationships worse. And it is more prevalent than conflict itself. You may look at such relationships from a distance and think they are living in perfect harmony. But it is more like beautiful facade with a deep unhappiness hidden underneath. If this feels like your situation, you will be surprised to know you are not alone. you may want to avoid conflict for fear of rupture, of falling apart, or some vague insecurities you are not even clear. It is really important to identify and address it. Having disagreement or conflict doesn’t mean you do not love the other person or they don’t have love for you.

If you are unable to express yourself, then it literally means your relationship is based on a facade. It’s not based on who you really are. So even if you think you saved yourself and your relationship by avoiding all conflict or disagreement, it’s not a real relationship. It is impossible to build real intimacy in such circumstances. It will lead to feelings of deep disappointment with relationship. And if it’s a chronic pattern in all your relationships, you may even have anger towards yourself for letting yourself down.

Externally, it looks as if everything is going smooth as you don’t have any conflict in relationship but you will be left wondering why you are not really happy living with the person you love.

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