Grieving Covid Losses

When we don’t recognise and give ourselves space to grieve, it piles up and not allow us to meet the situation calmly. In the long run, unresolved grief turns into depression and not allow us to heal.

Almost everyone is touched by loss due to covid. We all have known someone robust and healthy who succumbed to it suddenly. They were healthy last week and gone within a week. We are witnessing distressing news every minute from across the country. All this is stressful to say the least, if not highly damaging to your emotional well-being. More so, if you do not take care of yourself in these stressful times. When we feel so overwhelmed with suffering and losses, one thing we may miss out in our self-care, is grieving the losses.

Grieving is a natural process. When we lose someone or witness death at this scale, it is human to feel grief, sadness and distress. Allow yourself some personal space and dedicate some time to grieve. Acknowledge how shocking a sudden loss can be. If grief is not allowed, it piles up and may damage your emotional health and ultimately your physical health.

Accept the losses. When something is out of our hands, something cannot be changed, it is emotionally healthy to accept the situation. Not just accepting the death but also that we are in middle of unprecedented pandemic and are witnessing the consequences.

Recognise where you are in denial. One of the most damaging things to do is not accepting the reality, creating diversion instead of healing. We keep seeing people blaming someone for the mishaps - say politicians, fight with system - doctors or hospitals, or absolutely avoid facing anything that reminds them of the bad news - they isolate or live in a bubble. They do it because they are trying to deny the pain of grief in the situation. Catch yourself if you are saying ‘should have’, ‘could have’. All of these prevent you from resolving the grief and heal emotionally.

Connect with compassion. Behind your distress there is empathy and compassion. Just underneath your grief, if it is loss of a loved one, there is a connection, a love. That’s why it’s so devastating to lose it. If it’s grief of witnessing death and losses at such large scale, there is empathy and compassion for all the suffering. Connect with this love and compassion. Tap into it for the strength you need to heal and recover. This compassion can be turned into a force to help your loved ones and others in need.

If you feel overwhelmed by the extent of losses, reach out for professional help, seek grief counseling through trusted sources.

Just a couple of days ago, I found myself bursting into tears about the scale of suffering and terrible deaths in our beloved country. That’s after a week of increasing distress as numbers got worse across the states. Finally, after the spell of crying, I spent time meditating on this grief and distress. As I just allowed it, just beneath the sadness, I experienced a burst of compassion for the entire suffering humanity. I was immediately connected to the vibration of Divine Love. Only after resolving it, I could bring myself to take some constructive action to help the situation in any small way I can.

Some steps you too can use:

1. Pause for a few minutes. Breathe deeply and relax. Connect with your heart

2. Think of any sad news you have heard of recently. Allow those images to come up.

3. Give yourself some time to grieve the loss. Allow yourself to feel the sadness in your heart. Focus on it, breathe into it, until you feel the release. Grief has an element of anger, helplessness to it. Acknowledge it in same was as the sadness

4. Extend love and compassion towards yourself and loved ones

5. Think of all the distressing news you have seen or heard of today.

6. Recognise your grief for the collective sense of loss. Focus on the sensation of sadness in your body. Breathe into it

7. Allow yourself to feel compassion towards all those who are suffering due to covid.

8. Feel this compassion expanding in your heart, extend it to all those suffering across the country

9. If you believe in a higher power, send out prayers for the deceased ones, their families and for a speedy resolution of this situation

When we don’t recognise and give ourselves space to grieve, it piles up and not allow us to meet the situation calmly. In the long run, vv turns into depression and not allow to heal.l.

Stay calm. Stay safe.